Clueless
Girlfriends share everything from dance moves, recipes to skincare. Ask Monica and Rachel or Cher, Dione and Tai. As a teen, I always fantasized about what it would be like to attend a Grease slumber party a la Pink Ladies. There’d be a musical number featuring Brandy or The Backstreet Boys. There’d be some love-letter writing — with “143” and “TCCIC” and hearts scribbled on loose-leaf paper. More than anything though, what I longed for most was all the beauty stuff: sharing secret makeup tips, hair struggles and skin woes. There is a vulnerability associated with these moments that somehow bring you closer to others — and I longed for that as a young woman.
The Breakfast Club
Although I didn’t exactly get my Pink Ladies night, my beauty practices have largely been shaped by those around me. Aside from family, the first people I learned skincare tips from were my friends. In my social group, it was the girl who was first to wear bold liner and studded belts—think: Allison in The Breakfast Club—who doled out remedies she’d learned to get rid of our nonexistent eye bags or prevent boy-repelling pimples from emerging. (Applying aspirin to the skin was one of many DIY remedies, but it was a secret kept amongst girls because the boys couldn’t know this info.)
Where middle school and high school opened the door to skincare exploration—which involved a lot of Proactiv and Neutrogena—I was thrown for a loop to discover skin care was more of an afterthought in college. Bonding moments involved late nights and weekends in Brooklyn, going to random warehouse parties and ending the night sleeping on (or in) a stranger’s bed.
My friends and I didn’t talk about our skin concerns because at the time, we were more concerned with our ongoing identity crises (and passing our classes). During these years, I kept my skincare ritual to myself.
I thought having a skincare routine that involved more than my CeraVe face wash and Olay moisturizer wasn’t the norm. College life wasn’t conducive to lavish skincare. Most of us were broke, lost and trying to just get through it.
This, however, quickly began to change once we entered the workforce.
The “Real World”: Workplace Sexism, Sheet Masks and Self-Care
Being fully in the real world inevitably led to conversations about how to present ourselves in order to land our first job. Sporting the bedhead-and-sweatpants look may’ve been acceptable in college, but not for someone breaking into the world of fashion and beauty PR. Now, proper grooming was a necessity to accompany the typical all-black publicist’s uniform. Aside from the black attire, minimal makeup and a fresh face was my go-to look.
But with the high-paced job came stress-induced breakouts — and revisiting my dermatologist. The one consolation? Being surrounded by women experiencing the same challenges, blemishes or otherwise. Sharing the same struggles made it easy to get along. We first vented about things like passive-aggressive colleagues and our crazy overtime hours, but these discussions eventually led to deep talk about skincare. Should we start using an eye cream regularly to cover up the fact that we’re always tired? Which ones should we try? Do we really need to start using a neck cream?
Tony Moly Sheet Masks & Bundle ($33)
On top of that, as women in corporate environments, traumatic, enraging or stressful experiences became increasingly common. Divulging the microaggressive, sexist encounters with a colleague or job negotiation gone sour eventually led to talks on how to take care of yourself — skin included. We swapped tips on how to “treat yo’self.” For one of my birthdays, a friend gave me a set of TONYMOLY I’m Real sheet masks that served that purpose for one of the most stressful work months I faced. (Although the gift of skin care can be a risky one, it becomes more meaningful when it’s among close friends.)
My Girlfriends Are Getting Skincare Savvy as We Get Older and Wiser
(function ( $ ) {
“use strict”;
$(function () {
var masterslider_f3df = new MasterSlider();
// slider controls
masterslider_f3df.control(‘arrows’ ,{ autohide:false, overVideo:true , hideUnder:2 });
masterslider_f3df.control(‘slideinfo’ ,{ autohide:false, overVideo:true, dir:’h’, align:’bottom’,inset:false , margin:10 });
// slider setup
masterslider_f3df.setup(“MS5acf89915f3df”, {
width : 800,
height : 480,
minHeight : 0,
space : 0,
start : 1,
grabCursor : true,
swipe : true,
mouse : true,
layout : “boxed”,
wheel : false,
autoplay : false,
instantStartLayers:false,
loop : false,
shuffle : false,
preload : 0,
heightLimit : true,
autoHeight : false,
smoothHeight : true,
endPause : false,
overPause : true,
fillMode : “fill”,
centerControls : true,
startOnAppear : false,
layersMode : “center”,
hideLayers : false,
fullscreenMargin: 0,
speed : 20,
dir : “h”,
parallaxMode : ‘swipe’,
view : “basic”
});
window.masterslider_instances = window.masterslider_instances || [];
window.masterslider_instances.push( masterslider_f3df );
});
})(jQuery);
While skin care has become a coping mechanism to help deal with the stress of today’s political climate (despite others referring to it as a con), there’s something to be said about the way beauty routines evolve in relation our friendships over time and what that symbolizes.
My relationship with beauty and skin care continues to evolve alongside my friendships. Blended into a discussion about changing careers is an earnest request for daily facial moisturizers with broad-spectrum SPF. Planning for a major move out of New York is met with brands that cater to sensitive skin. Milestones with significant others may morph into what new serum can be incorporated into a nighttime routine or products to help clear unsightly pimples before wedding day.
As we continue to hit pivotal milestones in our lives, our friends are often there with us sharing in those experiences. While some of these relationships may slowly fade as the years go on, the way in which we approach skincare often parallels not only where we are in our lives but where we are with those who are closest to us, our girlfriends.
The post How My Besties Help Me Navigate Boys, Sexism and Sheet Masks appeared first on Makeup Madeover.
